Sandra’s mother had always been a headstrong, proud woman and it was one of the things that Sandra respected about her through the years. She had always tried to mold herself in the image of her mother’s demeanor and strength. Yet when her mother slipped down the stairs and broke her hip, Sandra suddenly realized that her mother’s strength would also be a problem when it came to getting the help she needed.
Her mother refused to move from her home into an assisted living community or retirement community, but after she broke her hip, her health seemed to deteriorate very quickly and Sandra knew that she had to do something. She had never considered home care services before because she simply thought they were for other people’s parents.
Any time that Sandra would bring up the topic of moving out of the large house that she now lived in all alone, her mother would get belligerent, dig her heels in even deeper, and tell her that she would never be leaving her house while she was still breathing. One day Sandra finally brought up the idea of an in home care provider.
Her mother didn’t like that idea, either, but when she finally began to realize that Sandra couldn’t continue to come over and check on her, helping her to bathe and cook meals every day, she began to warm to the idea of home care services.
It took a lot of effort for Sandra to convince her mother to listen, but what began to turn the tide of the conversation wasn’t that Sandra’s mother had a change of heart and was suddenly more open to change, but rather Sandra told her mother that she wouldn’t need to move out of her home.
Once Sandra’s mother was assured (several times, to be precise) that she wouldn’t be moving out of her home, she became less defensive. She started to listen to what her daughter was telling her and the idea of home health care services actually seemed like something a little bit better than the idea of having to sell her home and move into a retirement community where, as she put it, “Old people just go to wait out the end.”
Even though her daughter told her that’s not what assisted living was all about, she wouldn’t listen. Ultimately, finding the solution, or compromise is the best option and home care services was the ideal solution for Sandra and her mother.